Beyond Forgiveness - For everyone who has stumbled upon sexual sin

I believe most of you who chose to click on this topic has been struggling in asking, questioning if you have been entirely forgiven.

I am not writing this post to judge anyone, not also to make you feel ashamed or unworthy, I have friends who have been in those situation, tied on their sexual past sins. I have heard many stories about people with broken past, some are repenting, some have repented, or some might not even repent yet.

We, as a church, rather than judging, rather than pretending this topic never exist or taboo, we should have stood up for them, open up, speak up, and welcome, love them for who they are now. Not to haunt them with their past sins.

Because honestly, who in the world has never done any sin?

Remember when Jesus met a woman caught in adultery? ".. let anyone who is without sin be the first who throw a stone at her" ".. those who heard began to go away one at time" (John 8:7,9)

God never measures sin, there is no sin bigger than one another, since all sins separate us from God. "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it" (James 2:10) "For the wages of sin is death.." (Romans 6:23). But of course, there is certain level of guiltiness, consequences, punishment, and some are more blameworthy than others. (example, cheating in an exam VS cheating on your spouse)

Or you must have wondering, why "sexual sin" is something such a big deal?

I would say in my last 4 years of living in this world, I just realized how dangerous, how crazy, how close is sexual sin around us, how common, it appears to be more often than I thought, it has consumed lots of people around me, and it is scary, hard to say that it is avoidable.

"Let no one say when he is tempted, 'I am being tempted by God', for God cannot be tempted with evil, and He Himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death"

- James 1:13-15

Sexual sin is a sin so heinous that it makes us mentally, emotionally, physically distant from God. It makes you feel dirty after doing things without God's blessing, it makes you distant from God since you feel unforgivable, It breaks your relationship with God.
Sexual relationship should be taken, regarded as God's greatest gift for "What God has joined let no man separate.." (Matthew 19:6).
And within marriage, God let you to unwrap this precious gift as something so unique and special that you can experience only with your spouse with God's blessing.

When we "unwrap" the gift before the time, means we abuse, reject, and disregard His gift, and we have to bear the consequences.. (read: not punishment) Abortion, Guilt, Addiction, Uncured disease, Shame, Perversion, and many others. God loves us and understands us too much that He doesn't want us to undergo such painful process and unwanted consequences.

What is sexual sin?

1. "Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men" (1 Corinthians 6:9)
2. Premarital sex (any form of sexual activity before marriage)
3. Idolatry, Adultery
4. Pornography
5. Homosexual relations
6. Romans 13:13-14, Galatians 5:16
   

I feel so dirty, so unworthy, I feel so beyond forgiveness..

I know how hurt it might have been for you to endure all the things, you felt guilty, you felt dirty, you felt emotional pain, or even physically. That's the consequences of the sins you have made in your past. But didn't our Father in heaven told us that "If we confess out sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9)

So my dearest readers who have stumbled upon sexual sin and asking if you have been forgiven, the good news for you is that God has forgiven you. You have been made new.

(Note: Only after you really have REPENTED, confessed, and commit to be shaped new by Him)

"For He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son He loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins"

- Colossians 13:14

How do you know if you are forgiven?

1. One and foremost, once you have submitted to the Lord and you declared that He has died and risen up from the death, you certainly know why would He did those- to forgive you, to remember all of your sins no more! to give you an amazing grace, so if you are questioning that, you are denying Him! you rejected the salvation and forgiveness He has promised you.
   "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.." (John 3:16)
   "In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace" (Ephesians 1:7)
   
2. Again, when you repent, if you have truly committed not to dwell in your past sin anymore, God Himself is love and He will not remember all of your sins
   "Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord" (Acts 3:9)
   

I have tried, but it's difficult for me to forgive myself and to forget, it keeps haunting me!

Please check, what makes it so difficult for you to even forgive yourself when God Himself has forgiven you? Did any of your friend judge you? or did you just admit your past to someone dear to your heart and he/she left you, or rejected you? or did that anyone treat you as a sinner?

Remember this.

You need no one to value your worth. You don't need anyone's acceptance. Why would you need people like that? why would you befriend the judgers? I mean, you have Jesus to love you, to accept you, to forgive you. You have me! I am willingly to accept you as friends for whoever you are!

Check my post about forgiving anyone's past history here

"A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need" -Proverbs 17:17
"The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray"
-Proverbs 12:16

People who has ever been in the same situation would have understood and accepted me better

Generally speaking, yes, they are likely to understand and accept you better. But it doesn't mean you have to surround yourself ONLY with these people for you to be accepted right? there are a lot more people who are willing to accept your past more than you have ever imagined! so get out of your comfort zone now!

I am not saying you have to reveal your past sin to everyone, instead you have to be really careful to whom you are open up with, ask God for wisdom if you really have to reveal to someone.
And also not to scare you out, but even for some people who have encountered sexual sin, they might contemplate and struggle to understand. So what you can do is to pray for them so God will put peace in their heart.

Trust me, people who loves Jesus, they will love and forgive like Jesus does.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come; The old has gone, the new is here!"

2 Corinthians 5:17 

You are beautiful in your brokenness, they are the proof that you are strong, that you have tasted all the sufferings yet you chose to be someone better. There is no need for you to hide. You are created, mended, designed, fitted by God in all of your brokenness by His grace. Your scars, your pain, your wounds, your past, your guilt, your shame, your vulnerabilities, your insecurities, your brokenness, one day they all will have stories to tell. They will inspire. They shaped you for who you are becoming today.

I am delivering to you a love letter from God, you may open it here.
And dearest any woman who feels insecure that you won't be able to reach out to any Godly man because of your past sin(s), here is a good letter here

Much love,

Selina