He broke my heart.. And I bring the broken pieces to Jesus

I wonder if the title is catchy enough to catch your attention to read this article? 😆 I contemplate a lot whether to publish this post or not, fear that someday he might drop by my article 😂😒😓😝😬😱😰 (mixed emotions). I believe that almost all of you have experienced a heartbreak. Maybe not "a", maybe heartbreaks. Plural. Many times. Me too, more than once, like most of you.

Were you cheated? or did he/she tell you they don't have the feeling anymore? or distance problem? or different religions? or different values? or he/she just disappeared? or did they refuse to accept you for who you were? or you found out things you wish you'd never known? and many other possibilities.

What is a heartbreak, exactly? I would say it is a form of feeling where our body develop a crushing grief emotion inside ourselves, often starts from our heart, sometimes going up (that's why we feel so hurt and full that we want to vomit) or sometimes going down (that's why we experience stomach cramp). Great form of disappointment, resentment, sorrow when we feel emotionally or physically loss.

I'm getting emotional now. Not sure whether to describe my feelings in past tenses or present tenses. 😔

Every time I experience a heartbreak, I always think that my current heartbreak is the most heart-broken one, the most painful one in my history of ever falling in love. Sounds stupid as I'm typing about this.

Even hurt me more since I have already given it a thought in the process, even before the sweet era. I was making sure of myself that I have certainly prayed and asked God to be my guider, to stop me when the process is out of His will. Seems like the scenario was perfect until one major point I decided to fully check on myself, I kept blaming myself for having made the wrong move, I kept on denying, and ended up hurting myself more than I expected. I allowed myself to be drowned in these situations longer than it supposed to be.

Then how long is it supposed to heal?

I cried the most for 1-2 weeks, +1 day every time I met him. Am I just the only one being faced in this situation? Have you ever been in this situation before? or are you experiencing this?

I kept on thinking why God let me be in the process when eventually He shut the door? Is there anything from this process He wants me to learn from? or was my faith so weak so that I couldn't control my feeling?

Healing process does take time, varies for each person depending on the situation. But when we let God to take a part in our healing process, it will be easier to bear the burden, at least to help us listen what God wants us to learn from this process. As for me, I will see it as God's reminder for me to focus on Him, (by the end of 2017, I have committed to Him that I won't pursue any romantic relationship with anyone as I want to serve and focus on Him better) I might not realized that I have forgotten my promise and God is trying to bring me back to Him.

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" (Psalm 147:3)

Learn to listen to God what He wants you to learn from this painful experience. And you will know that He is preventing you from further, deeper heartbreak. God knows he/she is not the best partner, not the "one" He has for you. And if you were aware, He might have reminded you previously, but sometimes we try to lean on our own understanding so that we only realized when it is late.

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding" (Proverbs 3:5)

What should I do? 

1. PRAY
Dearest you, there is no other way rather than turning back to Jesus and pray. Bring your broken pieces and let Him glue the pieces back for you. Take your time at least one hour to just simply cry your heart out, talk to Him the wounds you are feeling. If one day is not enough, keep on repeating until you find peace in Him. Jesus is just a pray away from you.
"In my distress I called to the Lord, I cried to my God for help. From His temple He heard my voice, my cry came before Him, into His ears" (Psalm 18:6)

2. SURRENDER
Learn to surrender. Let Him work it out for you. Trust that He is preparing you to be a better person after this experience, He will never, ever give any trial bigger than you could handle. He knows that you are strong and you are capable. He just simply wants to shape you better. Let Him heal you and surrender. To surrender means to trust Him fully and to shift your focus on Him.
"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.." (Psalm 37:7)

3. OPEN UP
Talk transparently to a wise person in your church for you to open up about your feeling, you may ask him/her to pray for you too, so they can help you to track your process and remind you again when necessary. You can't bear this by yourself, time may tell, but even better and more efficient when you open up. I'd warn you not to reveal your feeling to just anyone. Remember to be wise with whom you are talking to.
"The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice" (Proverbs 12:15)

4. BE STILL

Take your time to heal. Enjoy the process with Jesus, it will be beautiful in the end when you walk in it with Jesus. Never, ever move into new relationship just because you want to escape from this painful process. This is not only a form of selfishness, childish or unkind, you are deceiving yourself and you hurt other people. Make sure you are fully healed before moving on to another commitment.
"Yes, my soul, find rest in God, my hope comes from Him" (Proverbs 62:5)

I tried all of those above, but it still hurts..

Don't deny, don't try to neglect your broken feeling, it hurts and it needs your attention. Don't pretend like you're not feeling anything. It's normal to feel hurt. But of course, it requires time and great courage to heal, and I believe you can do it, it won't last forever anyway!

Pray for him/her who has broken your precious heart, please use this moment to also reflect on yourself, you might have done something that has left scar in his/her heart. You can't force the situation or even expect him/her to rekindle. His/her part in your story is over. Move on.

Rather than blaming yourself or denying the truth, learn to love them as your brother/sister, ask Jesus for guidance. When you hate, not only it makes the healing process more difficult, but it tends to make you re-imagine the past history with him/her. Stop torturing yourself with these thoughts.

"Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing" (1 Peter 8-9)

Another tips you can try

1. Talk to your bestfriend(s) or your sister/brother in church - be sure they are not only trustworthy, but also someone you can ask for a wise counsel/ guidance from.

2. Spend a day alone listening to good music to lighten up your mood, write, read, watch your favorite movie, draw, cook, bake, sing - but be careful with your choice, check my article about selection of music here

3. If necessary, you may try to refrain yourself from some events/situations that require you to see him. If you can't handle your feeling at the moment, take your time for a break - But remember not to let your decision be based solely on your feeling, you just need some time to settle, not to disappear forever. (Don't let this be your reason to neglect your duties especially to serve God)
4. Have a will and courage to move on from your heartbreak - believe that you are learning in this process, that this pain won't last forever.

5. Pray and read your daily devotion - This part can't be avoided. You need Jesus to accompany you in this process, pray hard, learn to love Him again and He won't disappoint if you are willing to learn from this experience.

One bonus story - I hope this answers why God let you experience heartbreak(s)

I met a really good friend of mine in one fine afternoon and she told me her heartbreak story. Upon listening to her story, I believe God's written story is beyond comprehension. Stunningly written.

So, back in her 20-30s, a doctor wrongly diagnosed her disease, telling that her life was not long anymore, and she would die anytime soon. She even consumed some medical prescriptions to cure her disease, which ended up destroying her body (for some time).
During her intensive care period, she was in a relationship with her longtime boyfriend (more than 4 years). You wonder what her boyfriend did at that time when she needed supports the most?
Her (now ex), left her, without any notice, without any note, or message, or whatever. He left her just like that! He just couldn't accept her in her worst condition! She realized he didn't love her sincerely.
Not only her ex, some of her friends left her at that moment too.

You guess how much a heartbreak she had to endure at that moment?

But through this painful process, she thanked Jesus so much for has helped her filtering out some people in her life. What if the doctor didn't diagnose wrongly at that time? she might has ended up marrying the wrong person (her ex even had an intimate affair with a friend within her circle!) and she might still be surrounded with the wrong people.

No matter what type of heartbreak you are experiencing right now, always remember that God is trying to reveal something, He's preventing you from bigger damage, further heartbreak. Always believe that He wants the best for you.

So how am I feeling right now? Hurt if I let my feeling take control. Thankfully it gets better by weeks. I'm sure God wants me to learn something through this process, so I bring my broken pieces to Him. He promised to fix it for me and I am rest assured.

Enjoy the process. He is with you.
Much love,


Selina