So, there’s this guy.. What should I do next?

To be really honest, I had no one I could admire back then when I was still in my uni years, so I happened to be attracted to one of the "just good-looking" guys around my circle months after I went back to hometown.

How did it feel? amazing.

I didn't realize having just "crush" on someone felt that great. You begin to put a bit more attention to the way you dress, or maybe to add more shades of make up, hoping that he will notice! I got you! 😉 Good thing I decided to pray for this guy, I tried to find out from Christian references how to actually "like" someone in a good manner, in a way that glorifying God. Where in the end, I ended up with bunch of references about waiting for future husband, the gift of singleness, waiting season, and many other topics related to that.

During my constant researches, I gradually (but not literally) forgot this guy, my focus was shifted from how to "attract" to how to making the most of my singleness. I started to pray for my future husband (which I will tell you later why and how on my next post!) and pray for myself so that I can prepare to be a better individual myself (you can't really expect to get a qualified Godly woman/men while you alone are not prepared yet!)

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

- 2 Corinthians 6:14

I have a crush on this guy.. is it okay? is it normal?

- There is no rule in the bible saying that having a crush is a sin. It is normal for you to have a crush on good looking man or woman, you can see one scenario of Jacob and Rachel where Jacob saw her "beautiful in form and appearance, he loved her" (Genesis 29).

- But! be really careful about your motives and intention, as it can lead to disappointment to God, like David and Bathsheba "From the roof, David saw a very beautiful woman bathing..." "Bathsheba was pregnant.." "David put Uriah out in front where the fighting is fiercest.." "Uriah died" and "The thing David had done displeased the Lord" (2 Samuel 11).

Then what should I do?

1. PRAY. 

The very first rule is to "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:33). ask God to guide and direct you path so you can see what He wants you to experience or learn during this process. You may pray specifically for this man/woman, but don't wait forever, and don't dictate God such as "Dear God, if this Sunday he's wearing his best Navy polo shirt, then it means you allow me to keep this feeling" NO! not this way.. God will show you in His timing, you just need to learn to be sensitive and open up your heart.

2. GUARD YOUR HEART. 

While you're praying and following God's guidance, be aware that you are still in "crush" mode, this is not instantly making him being your future husband or boyfriend, you may not have known him personally about who he really is, so don't get your hopes up! don't fantasize! don't make up scenarios! "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it" (Proverbs 4:23) Don't do silly things to get his attention, and while on it, get yourself active! guys may on the beneficial side since they do all the pursuing things, but girls can, too! do what makes you happy, follow your dreams, talk to your best girlfriends, read and studying the Bible. Trust me, God never disappoints.

3. ASK. 

Do ask advices from wiser, older women, you don't have to share your feeling to everyone (and don't be), but at least have 1-2 person you can seek advices from, they may know this man you have crush on more than you do, or they may even help you to break down whether your situation is on the right track or not, and they can detect things you might not see. This is better for you to prevent further heartbreak. "Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future" (Proverbs 19:20)

4. OBSERVE.

Check, is he a Christian? do you share the same faith?

"Do not be unequally yoked with the non-believers" (2 Corinthians 6:14) No matter how charismatic, how such a gentleman, how cute or how smart he is, he won't be able to fill your heart desire like God does. So if he is not even a Christian, he won't be able to encourage, to lead your spiritual path. He will instead, distracting your relationship with God. Trust me, even for both Christians, it's a challenge too! (to stay on the right path).

DO NOT ever think that you can change him, no matter how deep your spiritual is, you can't change anyone, you can't compromise with feeling.

Double check. How is his spiritual walk with God? Does he goes to church regularly? how is his contribution to the church? how about his relationship with God? Does he continually seek God in a deep, genuine, meaningful ways? how is his relationship within his circle? how does he treat his family, his friend? continue to ask these questions before you let your feeling lingers even longer.

5. THANK GOD.

You might have already sensed God's answer, which never comes in ambiguity. When God says no, THANK HIM! He's preventing you from further liking the wrong person, from a heartbreak! you may feel disappointed, but trust me, it will last at least 2 months maximum, worth a lot compare to years spent of ended up loving the wrong person. Don't ever question it, don't give it a second thought, a no is a no, it will come out clear, and if it's not, then you are rejecting God. You are in denial of what he has told you. "When that day comes, you will cry out for relief from the king you have chosen, and the Lord will not answer you in that day" (1 Samuel 8:18)

And how do you know if it is a yes? He will pursue. 😊

Again, be careful with crush. It may sounds simple but if you treat it as the world treats, you know the consequences. "Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires" (Romans 8:5)

Don't worry, God is in control!

Much love,

Selina